Woman plans to walk out on Thanksgiving if in-laws continue their 'nasty habit.' AITA?

"WIBTAH if I walked out on Thanksgiving with my in-laws?"

So my in-laws have a nasty habit of asking me to bring something to Thanksgiving dinner only for me to find said item/dish already there. We are not normally a large crew so having two of the same dish is very wasteful. My relationship with my in-laws has been on the rocks since 2020 coming to a head a year ago and we are walking on eggshells now.

This year I told my husband I wouldn't cook anything but would only bring wine or something store bought. I told him that I am unwilling to put time and effort into cooking something only to have it go to waste. He listed off a few dishes I make that he loves that his in laws wouldn't ever make for Thanksgiving. I stood my ground though and said no and why. So he agreed and let it go.

However the numbers are in and there will be a large group this year. I couldn't stop myself (lord help me and my stupid people pleasing self) I asked what I could bring to ease the load. They shockingly told me a rather important dish. So of course I will make it.

I told my husband if I show up and they have already made said dish -AGAIN- I will turn my butt right around and walk back out. That I am no longer willing to put up with this stupid mind game. He thinks that would be dramatic and I should just put mine out anyway and they will love it because I am such a good cook.

I don't believe anyone will even try it if there is one by his parents already there. So WIBTAH if I walk out without a word or should I just suck it up - again.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

LTK622 said:

Your husband needs to do the cooking himself, and NOT tell them he did it. He needs to FEEL what it’s like to have his work thrown away, before he talks to you about your situation.

RJack151 said:

NTA. Personally, I would just show up with 2 bottles of Welsh's sparkling grape juice. Kids love it.

gingawavescutie sai

NTA. You've been clear about your boundaries, and if they keep disrespecting them, walking out is a way to take care of yourself. You shouldn’t be put in that position again.

neo_sporin said:

NTA IF your husband has your back. If he doesn’t then he is the AH, but in-laws are tricky which is why my wife and I try to do all the ‘handling’ of our own families. My MIL does this to her children all the time. 2 weeks out “I don’t want to do everything, I wi assign out some dishes."

Then come thanksgiving or Christmas she does everything and then asks her kids why they bothered making things, she has it all handled. And every year the same drama unfolds. I just sit in the corner quietly and try not to move…their vision is based on movement.

Reasonable-Ebb2601 said:

Before leaving please turn your dish upside down on their table. Leave the food. Take your dish home. NTA.

I_love_Hobbes said:

They are his family. Why isnt he making whatever they need? Tell he needs to make it and you will not be doing it. NTA but I would show up empty handed and when they ask where the dish is, say there is always another of the same dish and you were too busy and you asked hubby to make it and he didn't.