Woman fails to wake her husband up, 'I was GRAVELY mistaken.' AITA? 'I'm too busy.'

"AITA for not waking my husband?"

My (40 yrs old) husband and I (37) have been together for 5 years, and he hasn't been the greatest for waking up on time. On occasion, I have woken him up after his 10 alarms have gone off in the morning and he decides to go back to sleep. I sometimes get up at the same time for work, and I'm too busy getting ready myself to check if he's gotten up.

Most times, he eventually gets up on his own (although sometimes late) and I don't have to think about it. A few mornings ago however, we both had to get up at the same time, I got up said good morning and kissed him and he smiled and said good morning. So, one would think, he's awake...I was gravely mistaken.

I did my usual morning routine and popped into the shower, blow dried my hair and started doing my makeup. I go to start my morning coffee and noticed he was still in bed, to which he angrily asked why I didn't make sure he was up. I was incredibly frustrated, and replied "I thought you were up? I didn't exactly have time to check as I was showering and getting ready myself."

He decided to reply to my statement by swearing at me and calling me names, that I should have noticed he wasn't up. I told him that I wasn't his mother, and he wasn't my son, that it's not my responsibility to make sure he's up on time for work.

He mumbled something under his breath, which I assumed was just some nasty response. He got ready and headed out for work without another word, a kiss or a hug goodbye. Am I the ahole for not waking my husband up? He's been short with me ever since.

EDIT:

Thank you for everyone's replies so far, he's normally a very loving and affectionate man. He sometimes loses his temper and just completely loses it on me, but realizes after and apologizes. I know it's not right at all and there's absolutely no excuse to swear or call names at your significant other, I was trying to be understanding lately as he's lost his Dad a few months ago.

We have had very animated fights about little things that I don't think are issues, I always try to talk things out and communicate to solve the issue. Unfortunately, when he gets angry, he only sees red and doesn't think about what he's saying and results to yelling and swearing.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

Unimpressed2299 said:

NTA, he’s a grown man, he can wake himself up. He’s likely conditioned himself to ignore the alarms and he’ll need to change the routine to get himself up. Personally, I would 100% stop waking him up.

It’s a lose-lose situation because if he’s not all the way awake and falls back asleep after you wake him, he still lashes out at you, even though he’s the one with the problem. Hurling insults at you when he fell back asleep is extremely inappropriate.

Remote-Visual7976 said:

NTA--it is not your responsibility to make sure a grown adult is up for work. It unfortunately sounds like he has been enabled in this his whole life and has not learned how to get himself up. He was way over the top for his response to you and I would not be feeling guilty in any way. This was not your problem.

RENEGAD31990 said:

Huge red flags with him swearing at you and calling you names! I'd be questioning my whole marriage if that happened. Don't put up with that. From anyone. Ever. Let alone your husband.

Adorable-Address5718 said:

NTA - and your husband needs to grow up. Getting out of bed on time is a basic requirement of adult life.

Wilbie9000 said:

NTA. He's presumably a grown man; he can take responsibility for getting up in the morning.

Xilyxis said:

NTA. He's way beyond old enough to know better and his reaction is concerning. He failed to wake up. That's not a reason to take it out on you. Name calling is not okay.

feral_cat_era said:

NTA. Calling you names and cursing? No. He can take his attitude elsewhere