Man 'likes' classmate's Instagram post from school talent show, 'GF called me a creep.' AITA?

"AITA to my girlfriend for liking a classmate and friend’s Instagram post of her pole dancing?"

A friend of mine from grad school is a pole dancer by sport; she takes it seriously and has won pole dancing competitions. She’s not a stripper and by no means posts anything that can be construed as a thirst trap. Her Instagram is mostly her pole dancing because she’s an instructor and teaches. Her outfits consist mainly of athletic wear; think about gym/running shorts and tops you’d see girls in at the gym.

Every year, the school has a talent show which I attended, and I didn’t even attend to see her nor did I know she’d be performing. I follow this friend on Instagram and she posted her performance. I liked it to show my support as a friend and classmate. This is the only post of hers I liked.

My gf says she found this girl’s profile through the “Suggested” list on IG and saw that I liked the post, which made her blow up on me. Gf called me a “creep for liking a thirst trap,” that it’s disrespectful to my her as my gf for liking it, and that if her friends saw then it would be embarrassing for her. She also said this when she blew up on me:

"It kinda disgusts me you're looking at any other woman, I don't do that. I would never disrespect you like that. I would also not seek out attention like that from anyone- or give it. I deserve the same. Especially some lame pole dancer. That's just disrespectful." AITA? I genuinely just wanted to like the post as a way of supporting a friend and classmate. I’m not attracted to her at all nor do I see her in that way.

Edit: to address why that’s the only post of hers I liked, the girl’s ENTIRE page is her pole dancing. Literally every post is of pole dancing. If I liked more posts of hers I’m not sure if that would be better.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

friendlily said:

It doesn't really matter what you crowd-source because the point of the relationship is not to "win" arguments. You had innocent intentions so she should hear those out and consider them. But you have also just learned that your gf doesn't like that you liked a post of a woman pole dancing. Either accept that and don't do it again or break up.

SpookedBoii said:

Mild YTA. Bro...Come on...a woman pole dancing...that can be misinterpreted a billion ways. You ought to be wiser than this. It isn't really an ahole move from you, but I also completely understand your GFs perspective. All she saw was her BF liking a post of a woman pole dancing.

She needs no extra context, it's just not a good look for you. All you can hope is that she calms down once the context is fully given to her. But bro, for your own sake, don't make such foolish mistakes again.

quietgrrrlriot said:

NTA—You and your GF seem to have conflicting values. You aren't being deceitful or dishonest. Your intention was not lustful. You further explained your rational. Where does the line get drawn? Are you allowed to have any opposite-sex friends at all?

If you are, are they allowed to be conventionally attractive? Are you only allowed opposite-sex friends as long as their interests don't involve art, fashion, sports, athletics, or any other interests that you might otherwise share?

Are you only allowed to like text-only posts, or pictures that don't include the person? It just seems like it would be impossible to successfully adhere to an arbitrary standard where you don't interact online or in person with certain people.

But then again, there are certain people who truly believe that you shouldn't so much as think about the opposite sex once you're attached. To each their own, I say. But I've never fully understood it, maybe because I've liked both men and women...

So by that standard, I wouldn't be able to have any friends at all. Also by that standard, anyone who has a good rapport with their ex is a red flag... which imo is a green flag, especially if it involves co-parenting.

mortefina said:

NTA. this is about having a healthy discussion with your girlfriend about what expectations you each have in regards to social media interactions. If you find her boundaries restrictive or based in insecurities social media is a symptom that needs to be discussed.

You should be able to support friends, she should be able to express her comfort, if they don't align then there should be a way to resolve or move on. simply saying you can't like posts of your friends sounds controlling IMO.

fancyandfab said:

Mild YTA. It looks really bad for you, but I can see how in your head it was harmless. Just communicate with your GF and explain.

sylaphi said:

NTA. From your description, your girlfriend is insecure and is taking it out on you and your friend, especially after you explained things. The way she spoke was very unhealthy.

I personally really cant understand people who go into relationships and believe you have to completely cut out everyone in your life who is the sex/gender youre attracted to. Because if that's how a person thinks, I don't think they're in a place mentally or emotionally to be in a relationship.

You both need to sit down and have a discussion about your boundaries around the relationship. See if you can understand why she had such an aggressive reaction to it and if there are things you can compromise on or adjust to make sure you are both comfortable.

But at the end of the day, its up to both of you to agree to something, or if you both can't be satisfied with the outcome, then maybe your values and ideas of what you want in a relationship is just too different.