Man calls girlfriend 'prudish' for wanting monogamy, 'I've always valued loyalty.' AITA?

"AITA for rejecting an open relationship because he said I’m 'prudish' for wanting monogamy?"

So my boyfriend (22M) and I have been dating for eight months. everything was fine until last night when he dropped the bomb that he wants to open our relationship. I was shocked because we’ve always talked about being exclusive. He said he still loves me but feels “restricted” and wants to “experience life” while he’s young.

I told him straight up I'm not into sharing my partner. That’s when he called me prudish and said monogamy is outdated. I didn’t expect that from him. I've always valued loyalty and thought he did too. Now he’s acting like wanting to stay committed is some kind of flaw.

He argued that we’re missing out on fun opportunities and that I’m too “uptight” for not even considering it. I tried explaining that it’s not about being uptight—it’s about trust and respecting what we built. But he kept insisting I’m overreacting and should be more open-minded.

Here’s the thing: I get that people have different needs. maybe he’s curious or scared of settling down. But calling me names for wanting the same commitment we agreed on? that feels manipulative. I don’t wanna force him to stay if he’s unhappy, but I also won’t bend my boundaries just to keep him.

Am I really overreacting for standing my ground? part of me worries I’m being too strict, but the other part knows I deserve someone who wants the same things. He says I’m holding him back, but isn’t he dismissing my feelings too? idk.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

hdgal63 said:

Nope, NTA, don't let him push his wants and needs onto you if you don't feel the same. Stick to what you are comfortable with and leave this Ahole immediately.

ProfessorDistinct835 said:

NTA. You're on different pages where monogamy is concerned and that's ok. But him belittling you for it is really uncool and a reflection of who he is. Better luck next boyfriend.

catladyclub said:

He is either cheating or has someone picked out already. Dump him. You deserve someone who appreciates you. NTA.

theworldisonfire8377 said:

You’re NTA for not wanting to open your relationship. Your bf is TAH for pressuring and manipulating you. He wants a free pass to sleep with other women and still have you home waiting for him.

Only you know if that’s a dealbreaker for you, and it isn’t exactly something you can compromise on. If you don’t want the same things, just end the relationship.

virtualchoirboy said:

NTA. Accept that you two are incompatible and that this relationship is probably dead in the water. If I had to guess, he won't give up pressuring and insulting you or he'll cheat. Either way, he wants things that you won't accept and, if he stays, that will build resentment.

And he will feel that he has to keep pushing to make the resentment go away. When you won't give in (and you shouldn't), he'll convince himself that means it's okay if he cheats because he wants an open relationship anyway.

When you find out, he'll "graciously" let you be with other people too thinking he's won the argument. Don't give in. He says you're holding him back so time to let him go. He just can't go with you as a partner.

Puzzleheaded-Rip8887 said:

NTA. Stand your ground. If he does decide to commit to monogamy, I would watch carefully for signs of cheating. It seems that he is way too interested in hooking up with other people.