'AITA for telling my girlfriend's mother she’s horrible and treats her sons with favoritism?' UPDATED 2X

"AITA for telling my girlfriend's mother she’s horrible?"

So I 19meters (lol) have a gf 19f. She’s the kindest sweetest person in the world, like genuinely. My problem is my gfs mother. She’s a horrible old lady and I hate her with every fibre of my being. She’s so mean to my gf no matter how much she does for her mom. Like yesterday my gf was sick and I went to go see her. She’s got her periods and the flu so like it’s a war zone.

She’s throwing up, can barely walk and crying 24/7. I spend most of the day with her since I work night shift and she had sick leave. And the whole reason she’s sick is because of her brothers. Her mom literally rubbed her brothers, made them soup and coddled them the whole time they were sick but she gave not one single f--k today.

My gf was throwing up the whole day, not once did she ask if she was okay or if she needed anything. She acted like it was an inconvenience and my poor baby was crying. How can you treat your own daughter like this?

Here’s where I may be the ah. As I was leaving, my gf was asleep in her room and her mom was downstairs coddling her little brother. I stopped and I asked her to just check on my gf through the night to make sure she’s okay and she gave me such a dirty look and like it genuinely pissed me off.

I told her ‘she’s a horrible mother who for some reason hates the child who does the most for her and treats her lazy unhelpful sons like the sun shines out of their a$$es’ and then left. My gf hasn’t messaged me yet to berate me so maybe that’s good but AITA?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Unlucky-Gift-9360 wrote:

ESH (except gf). I 100% understand your anger and why you did it. Her mother sounds horrible. But a--sive parents like this are rarely able to recognize that they're doing something wrong, their heads are really far up their a$$es, and instead she will probably act like a victim, and as was pointed out already, take it out on your girlfriend.

The mother is obviously the biggest AH though, and so is the brother (depending on his age) for not calling out his mother's behavior.

OP responded:

One is 15 and the other is 23. A whole grown man.

oop_norf wrote:

So, where are you living and can your gf come stay with you? At least for a bit? As other people have said, you might have made things at her house worse, so can you get her out? You're both > 18, if you can find somewhere for her to go she can just leave.

OP responded:

She's spending the night at my place tonight because tomorrow when I get back from work were gonna go look at places since she doesn't have any classes.

Spoonbills wrote:

Yeah, maybe don’t make your gf’s life at home worse to feed your justice boner.

Tell your gf to ask her doctor about endometriosis.

OP responded:

She does have it. I took her like last year to get checked out because her mom refused to. I did suggest she start bc to maybe stop it from being so bad (I’m not fully sure bc works) but she decided against it.

After receiving some feedback, OP shared two updates.

UPDATE: She texted me back. She still likes me 😩

UPDATE 2: Hello everybody. Just to clarify a few things her brothers are 15 and 23. Her mother is not a--sive, b#$chy and kind of a c u next Tuesday? Yes. Also for those of you wondering if she's safe. Yes she is. She's staying at my house for the time being and were both supposed to be napping rn but I can't but she's snoring.

We did find an apartment that's close to her school and quite safe. That's all I wanted because honestly I would hate to leave her alone at night by herself. We get to move in by the end of this month and were taking her cat. He's a nice grumpy old guy.

Like he's 10-years-old, I think that's old in cat years. Oh and to those of you trolls who were sooo pissed off that I actually like my gf, I hope you find someone to love you because bitter is not a good look. I have no idea how to update so Mb. I usually just scream into the void on my main. Bye love y'all. 😫

The comments kept coming.

TemptingPenguin369 wrote:

So you took her to get "checked out" (I assume you mean she had a laparoscopy), and did the doctor discuss birth control (and she refused that medical advice)? Why would you be the one suggesting bc to her?

OP responded:

The doctor told her about the bc, I suggest she start taking it because all I know is that itll help with the pain. That’s literally the end of it.

PanSeer18 wrote:

ESH, I'll take OP at his word that the mother is awful, but it was an asshole move to lash out at her without thinking of how it would make an already bad situation for his gf, worse. YTA. Two ways I see this. One is the mother is abusive/grossly negligent and now she's going to take it out on her daughter because some smart a$$ 19 yo insults her in her own home.

She'll think her daughter put you up to it and that she talks badly about her mom behind her back. Even if the latter is true, it's not your place to betray your gf's trust by letting it be known. You've made things worse for her.

The other is you are severely judging a frazzled mother because she is not being with "your baby" while she is sick, even as she may be recovering from just taking care of other sick children.

Maybe it's because you're always there? What makes you hate her so much? Is she actively mean to your gf or maybe just not the perfect parent and you've dialled that up to 100 in your head because of your feelings for your gf? Either way YTA, possibly ESH.

OP responded:

She’s actively mean. She makes fun of my gfs weight. She treats her like the maid. She expects her to do everything. One time I remember she was having a panic attack and her mother literally laughed. Like who tf does. She treats her own daughter like trash and it’s gross.

Roofantastic22 wrote:

Can you give more context on why you hate her mom? The example that she left yall alone while you were there and didn’t coddle her isn’t really giving enough of a reason to hate. You blame the brothers for giving her the flu. Well, that happens when living together and it’s not their fault. I feel like you’re playing hero w good vs evil and your gf hasn’t asked for a hero. And now you’ve left her with a po’d mom.

OP responded:

She’s actively mean to her daughter. Makes fun of her weight, her art, her in general. She expects her to do everything. Complained about her acting sick and not doing any work the whole time when she was literally throwing up and was burning up.