'AITA for not keeping up the family tradition of naming my child after a month of the year?'

"AITA for not keeping up the family tradition?"

My (25M) wife (24F) gave birth to our son two weeks ago. My family has had the tradition of naming the child months of the year for 5 generations on my mum's side.

My name is December (I’ve shortened it to Dec hoping people will think it’s short for Declan or something normal), my brothers are called August (not so common in the UK) and July (poor guy, nothing you can do about that one) and my sisters are called April, June and May (not so bad). My wife and I called our son Tobias.

We kept the name a secret until after he was born and we had signed the birth certificate so it couldn’t be changed. When we told my parents a week ago, they were most certainly not happy. Even though my dad has the nice normal name of Alex, he liked the tradition. My sister, June, named her daughter March to keep with the tradition so my parents expected me to do the same.

My mum continually said that we should call the baby September for a girl and October for a boy throughout the pregnancy. I never outright said I wasn’t going to because I know what lengths they would go to to make sure my baby would have a month as a name. My brothers were on board when we told them, understanding growing up with the teasing.

My parents left after saying we were disrespecting my heritage by not following the tradition. I told them I wasn’t going to name my child a ridiculous name because some old, long dead, crazy man decided months of the year would be good names and just because my mum was stupid enough to join him and his madness, didn’t mean I had to. They stormed out and haven’t spoken to me since.

My sisters have said I should have just named him a month to keep the peace and I’m an AH for insulting my mum and her family. I feel as though I’m just looking out for what’s best for my son. My family seems to think my wife has “brainwashed” me into calling him something normal even though I have never made it a secret that I hate my name. So AITA?

The internet was quick to share their opinions.

ReviewOk929 wrote:

"My parents left after saying we were disrespecting my heritage by not following the tradition."

NTA - Traditions like this deserve to be broken. Your dead ancestors really do not give two s--ts what you call your kids and are incapable of any disrespect from you.

Your parents are the only ones offended and it's not your responsibility to keep the peace. It's theirs to respect your decision and try to move past it and have a functioning relationship with you. Good for you for doing this btw.

Lightphotographer wrote:

NTA but you could have tried a different argument.

You married your wife. She has a strong tradition of not naming any family member (even pets) to the months of the year, and you two indeed followed the family tradition - just not yours.

KbobbetyBobbins wrote:

NTA. The boy options apart from August (and that makes me think of Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) are weak. You’d go through life hating the name and he would probably go through life getting b-llied.

Even as a middle name, I don’t see why you should be bullied into something you don’t want.

But let me get this straight - it isn’t even related to the month the child was born, given your Mum wanted September for a girl and October for a boy???

April, May and June are ok for girls, but only if the parents actually liked the names. But the whole thing seems very random and kind of like a tradition that needs to just fade out. Your son will thank you later and your mother will get over it eventually.

beastmanmode45 wrote:

NTA: It is your child. My family has a naming tradition and I happened to be named after a man that beat his wife and child to the point they were hospitalized. Family traditions are not always a good thing.

Edit: I was that child and obviously I was named after my dad.

Hello_JustSayin wrote:

NTA.

Your kid, your choice in names. Also:

It's not like you were breaking tradition by not naming him after a beloved, deceased relative (you'd still not be the ah if you did break that tradition).

With only 12 months and this going on for 5 generations, that must mean that there are so many duplicate names for different family members. There is nothing wrong with that, but if it were me I would not want my child to be one of the 10 (or whatever) people named after a particular month.

Srvntgrrl_789 wrote:

NTA.

One of my favorite comedians, Ralphie May, named his April and August, since those were the months they were born in, and since his last name was May, it kind of worked out. (RIP Ralphie).

You can name your child whatever you want, and your family has no say-so in the matter. You chose a strong classic name for your son, one that won’t get him b-llied, or picked on, as he goes through life. If your family doesn’t understand that, that’s their problem, not yours.

Boddoki wrote:

Oh my good giddy aunt NTA. Your child, your choice. For what it is worth, I completely 100% agree with you OP. ANY month is a terrible name for a boy and for the girls, only a few match well enough.

I agree your dad can't say much given he hasn't had to grow up with a bad name...and 'keeping the peace' is fine with decisions that only affect yourself with consequences you are willing to bear, but to make your son go through his formative years with a name likely to have him ridiculed?? This is insane beyond belief. You are VERY much NTA.